Letter From Pregnant Women Everywhere

This made me laugh and cured a little boredom

Dear non-pregnant friend

 

 

hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women, as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm. If you are thinking, surely she doesn’t mean me – then you should probably read this twice.

 

 

1. The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is ‘Congratulations!’ with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you a jerk.

2. Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father – not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase ‘my baby’.

3. On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in 2, the pregnancy, birth, and raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it…

4. The body of a pregnant woman should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone’s stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix, or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.

5. Likewise, no woman wants to hear comments on her weight…ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is ‘You look fabulous!’.

6. By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don’t need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes. Nor do we need to know how badly you will feel for us because we will be pregnant during the summer and how glad you are that YOU will not be pregnant this coming summer.

7. There is a reason that tickets to Labor & Delivery are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL, or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents. You weren’t invited to be there when the baby was created, you probably won’t be invited to be there when it comes out either.

8. Like everything else in life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital, and the parent’s home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to ‘help out’. If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.

9. If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules, and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.

10. The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.

Sincerely,

All the Pregnant Women in the World

I Don't care If Your Kid Has Diarrhea

I started my blog so friends across the country could keep up with our little family since we would be having a new addition soon. I never expected anyone to really read it, but I have made a few friends online who actually follow what I do from day to day. The other reason I wanted to make a family blog is so people didn't have to read my thoughts on something like facebook especially since I never write anything on facebook and I refuse to join any other social network (yeah I'm talking to you twitter)

 

 

Facebook has slowly fallen out of favor with me over the past few years mainly because I can't stand reading some people's daily, hourly, minute by minute accounts of what they are doing, eating, or what bodily functions are coming out of their children.

So I am promising here and now I will not make people suffer from reading about the daily intake and output of my child's body.  I will post pictures of what we are doing from day to day, but I will try to make it as painless as possible.

I guess I like my blog so much because you don't have to read it unless you really want to and I guess I could do that on facebook and I just might start blocking people.

 

Now that I am done judging other people you are more then welcome to judge me on what I am about to divulge. Yes I am almost 30 years old and about to have a baby, but by golly I love me some Brittney Spears. I think I might go so far as to purchase her latest album with the left over itunes card Brent got me for Christmas. I am rethinking my ipod running mix and I think Brittney may be just the thing to get me re motivated post child birthing to get back in the groove.

You sly little minx you!

Things To Come

Since I am awake and have been for most of the night thanks to baby kicks in my belly and some wicked heartburn (no more mint chocolate chip Klondike Bars right before bed) I guess I will type since I have nothing better to do. Brent isn't even awake yet and I hope he slept better then I did because he has his interviews today for a supervisor job which that means more/less b/s at work to deal with depending on how you look at it, a little more $, more time at home with his girls so we are really hoping he is his amazingly charming self and gets himself a new position before paternity leave when Baby Love gets here.

I was thinking last night about the changes I want to make in our little (tiny) homestead. My mom and I were chatting this weekend and we have mapped out a plan for a few changes in our bedroom. We are going to be making a new headboard and getting rid of the awful squeaky cheap bed frame we currently reside in. She actually recently made a headboard for someone else who didn't care for the fabric (I happen to like it) so we will probably just use that and we will add some nail studs around the edges.

(Something like this)

 

 

I also want to start searching yard sales, consignment shops, and flea markets for a nice big piece of furniture to replace the dresser in our bedroom. The furniture we have right now is a set from an Ashley Furniture type store that Brent bought pre Team Doyle. Needless to say it isn't top quality. I finally made him realize older furniture is sturdier and much better made. I promised him I would redo it and make it Brent worthy and "cool".

Last night was so much fun. Brent and I met up with my girlfriends Nicole and Hayley for a meet and greet of Nicole's new man Brent! We call him Brentx2 or Brent squared. I love that he has the same name as my hubs since I have been known to call people's new boyfriends by previous boyfriends names (sorry Jen and Nicole). We went to Pete and Sam's (yummy). Sadly we saw no gypsies, but there were other strange people to entertain like the lady with giant white bandages from her wrist to almost her shoulder. We ate yummy pepperoni and Italian spinach pizza and chatted up the new man. Everyone came back to our place to have a nursery viewing and to chat. It was so much fun hanging out with good friends I don't get to see very often especially Hayley who lives all the way out in Colorado. Hayley also brought a very special gift for Kinley. We now have an adorable outfit for next summer, but the best part of her gift was a miniature Chewbacca doll that makes awesomely realistic  wookie noises when you press his belly. I laughed harder last night then I have laughed in a while and I look forward to hanging out some more this week.

I have another Dr. appointment today and I am looking forward to see if my poor beaten body has made any progress in the baby front. I have a feeling it won't be a spectacular amount if any this week. I am also trying to think of any questions I have for Dr. Williams since she always catches me off guard and I can never think of anything to ask in the moment. I honestly can't think of anything to ask her because I feel like our birth class and my books have pretty much answered everything. I just hope I can stay awake until my appointment this afternoon.

Last but not least today are 2 new belly shots.

35 Weeks

Week 37

 

Now for some exciting news. I just got back from my 37 week appointment and I am currently 2cm, 60%, and -2. Not much, but progress is progress. That means we have 8cm, 40%, and baby needs to drop down more. Hopefully things keep going and I am going to help them along. I am going to start walking in the morning or evening along with my crazy house cleaning. I am also going to keep up my stretching which makes my hips feel so much better. The best part of my appointment was when my Dr. first walked in and goes man you must be really swollen today because there is no way you gained 7lbs. in 1 week! Funny you should point that out because my feet are HUGE today! I think this is my least favorite thing about being pregnant. the swollen cankles really gross me out.

I am just waiting for target to send me my 10% off coupon and I will be 100% finished with my baby purchases. They said they sent it out in May and shock and surprise I never received it. They are going to resend it and I should get it in a few days. Hopefully I will get the rest of the stuff for baby right before or right after she arrives. Glad it is nothing I really seriously need stupid Target. There are some nursing items that could make life much easier, but we can do without until they arrive. I would also really like to go ahead and get my clothesline hung up so I can sun my cloth diapers. At first we will be trying to use up all of the diapers everyone has gifted us for when we "give up". I will be mixing them in with my newborn gdiapers especially when we go out for visits and are staying at my parent's house for the first night or so. I am assuming my mom won't want to wash any poopy diapers in her washer.

Hurry up and get her Kinley so we can start getting all of this mess figured out. Mommy is starting to get really bored sitting at home!

Eviction Notice

Woohoo Full Term Day!

As of today if Mckinley decides she is ready then they say everything should be A-Ok. Now I want her to bake as long as she needs, but this makes mommy even more antsy for Baby Love's arrival! I still have a few things to do and get, but I am so ready. I am anxious to see what the Dr. says Wednesday, but I am not getting my hopes up for more progress even though I am still having the same pains I was having before so maybe there is some hope.

My Amazing MIL has made us a few frozen lasagnas so we won't have to cook for a while when Kinley gets here, but I want to have a few more items made and frozen for the first few weeks. I am thinking of making Brent a bacon and spinach quiche this week for dinner so I am thinking of going ahead and making 2 so we can freeze one. I think I may try a few other dishes like enchiladas, crock pot BBQ chicken and stuffed zucchini. I am sure spaghetti will continue to be a staple in our house so that can be thrown in a few nights here and there.

I spent the weekend with my family at the lake which was relaxing, but somehow I feel like I ran a full marathon I am so tired. I slept pretty good one night, but I tossed and turned a lot and my hands hurt so bad they kept me awake most of the night. That might be another reason I am ready for Mckinley to make her appearance. I know other areas are going to hurt and we will be up all night with her, but I still think I will sleep better then I am sleeping right now.

. And I probably should start showering everyday again just in case something goes down because I will not, I repeat I will not go to the hospital whilst dirty. I am not being lazy I just don't see the need to wash my hair everyday if I am just sitting at home. I do take a bath everyday because it feels wonderful on this VERY pregnant body, but no my hair doesn't get washed. Like I said I won't go to the hospital dirty so just in case I will start cleansing myself more regularly. I already told Brent I will be showering before we go anywhere so he better be prepared!

So Mckinley Grace you are being served your eviction notice. Whenever you are ready mommy and daddy are ready for you to get here so hurry it up my stubborn little

Hello Friend

After using my AMAZING food steamer the other day I remember another piece of equipment we owned that could potentially make my life easier now and post birth! Friends let me introduce you to my good ole friend Roomba. I can't believe I completely forgot about this little guy! He is working on seeking out dog hair under the couch as we speak. Now he does not get the baseboards or behind stuff like I like, but just to have the main parts of the room clean really helps. I think I am going to buy the little docking station that goes along with him to make my life even easier. If he could recharge himself without me having to find him under the couch and make sure he gets plugged back in will make our relationship even better.