I am writing because I don't know what else to do with myself.
I have cried so much I don't think I have any tears left in my body.
I don't even know what to say.
People keep asking me if I am alright and I don't know how to answer that.
No I am not alright.
This isn't fair.
I don't understand.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to say.
My heart hurts.
I feel numb and then I think about something and I cry and then I am numb again and then I think about something else and then the tears come again.
What am I going to say to my babies when they ask?
How am I going to make it through the day when my friend isn't there?