Thoughts

Today I walked into my girls room and saw her playing with a toy she hasn't ever really played with before. You know one of those toys you put away high up on a shelf because it is such a nice toy. You look at it, but don't ever play with it because it would be a shame to mess it up. It just so happened to be a special Raggedy Ann given to her for Christmas by my friend Cathy. I am not sure how she got it down and I guess I will never know, but I think a little angel with a soft voice might have wanted her to play with it instead of just sitting on a shelf all alone.  It made me smile and I needed a smile today.

It is funny how you don't realize how much someone was intertwined in your life until they are gone. Everywhere I look just at home I can see and feel my friend. From the stuffed dolphin she brought back from the Bahamas for my girl to the Minnie Mouse bowl she eats her cereal out of every day. It makes me feel so loved knowing my friend loved my girl so much. I am not going to lie I may have napped with a soft blue dolphin yesterday.

I wandered down to our classroom Thursday night during church and I almost fell over when I walked in and saw your sweater still hanging on your chair. It made me realize how strong I am going to have to be for our babies when we return to school and how much I need those little people to keep me going. I guess I really have to organize my cabinets now since that was one of the last things you  asked me to do.

   Tomorrow I will celebrate my friend and why we all loved her so much. I will be sad, but I will be thankful for the time God allowed me to have her in my life. I will remember our first year working together and working out all of the kinks, sniffing lotion during nap time (baby farts are nasty),  nap time talks about stuff we shouldn't ever talk about at school, summer time lunch dates,  pajama parties, singing the nah nah song over and over and over and over and over and over again, Tootie Tah dance parties, head thumps that brought us closer,  cancer talks, glitter everywhere, flower experiments that never worked, giant roaches everywhere, laughing until we cry over absolutely nothing because we are so delirious from saying the same damn thing over and over and over again, praying you or I didn't trip over a cott and break our necks, knowing exactly what you had done when I heard you yell in the hallway, and just being there folossr each other through all of the ups and the downs. No one else will ever know why we never ate lunch in the lunch room. There was a reason we never wanted to leave the crazy place we called 4K-D

My friend I will miss you more than you will ever know and I wish we could have had longer together, but God had greater plans for you. Do you know how I know that you are up there with Him? Because you have been one of my greatest teachers in my journey with God. You taught me how to teach our babies about His word. You always knew how to take my jumbled mess of words and put them together in just the right way so our babies would truly understand. Thank you for always keeping the mess that is me together and for being the queen of lamination and pretty toes.

I love you Mrs. Cathy and I will never let our babies forget you and how truly wonderful you were. You had so many great things you wanted to do and I know you would have been amazing in your next journey. I know you will help me find the words to help our babies through this and you will always be by my side laughing at me as I trip over beds and spill beans and sequins every where. Thank you for always keeping me together and not getting mad at me when I forgot to call you about jeans day. You always looked cute with or without jeans.

My friend if I don't see you tomorrow I hope you have a Happy Eternal Life with God our Father.




If you are reading this please forgive the random thoughts that are flowing out of my brain today. I am sad.