Thursday, August 30, 2012

Hit Me

It is so funny how something so small can make such strong feeling creep up out of nowhere. The day was almost over and I just happened to check my mailbox at school and I saw a letter from Pantene Great Lengths thanking me for donating my hair this year. Some of you may not remember ,but we lots a teacher at school at the end of last school year to cancer and the day she passed was the day my mom's cancer diagnosis was confirmed. That was possibly one of the worst days of my life and Brent and I have already  awarded 2012 as the crappiest year of our lives. Between the cancer and Joan's job this year has sucked. I actually hate saying that because there has also been so much good that has happened this year, but I feel like the crap has outweighed the good. 

It is SO easy it is to forget how sick mom is when she is feeling so good.Then she gets sick again and it is like the bottom drops out. Mom had her fourth round of chem last Friday and we have all been holding our breaths waiting for her to get sick again and guess what bless her heart she is back in the ER. She isn't as sick as last time, but she is just not well. I still don't understand why the chemo affects her so negatively, but it really is killing her to save her. It really does blow my mind to know that this poison they are pumping into my mom is really working, but I honestly don't think I ever thought it would be this bad.

I feel kind of useless right now because there is nothing I can do to help. I can't make her feel better, I can't make it go away. I don't like being useless. I must be doing something at all times so I guess blogging about it is my way of doing something. I guess this is better than sitting around and fretting waiting for a phone call. Ha that's funny because I am still doing that and will be doing that all night. Sadly I just contemplated making some coffee because I know I won't sleep tonight so I may be posting again in a few hours.

Please keep mama in your prayers and pray that she get fluids and meds and is sent home to recover. Four down Two to go. October can not get here soon enough. I feel like we will all be able to breath again. Thanksgiving may actually be enjoyable knowing that she is past the worst and everything is down hill from there. We will be have a very large very loud party after her last treatment with lots of margaritas and everyone is invited!

If you get a chance check out and sign up for our Race For The Cure Team go sign up and come race with us.

Creedon's Crusaders
I shall be wearing these race day now we just have to make up a team t-shirt to go with.

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