Wednesday, November 7, 2012


I have not really let my mind process what is going to happen tomorrow. I have kind of been waiting for a chance to write it out, but haven't gotten a chance until today and I am sure little lady will be moseying on in here in just a second, yup there she is, to help me type. 

Tomorrow my mom will have her double mastectomy. I can't believe this day is already here. I feel like it has been years since this all started and yet it has flown by. I know I keep saying that, but that is the only way to explain this whole process.

This is happening TOMORROW! I can not imagine what she is thinking about tonight or how she is feeling. I wish I could be there to talk about everything. I wish I was with Mama tonight to talk about everything even though she hates talking about how she feels,but I make her do it anyways. I am not sure if it is to make her or myself feel better, but I love that we can just talk about things.

My brain still won't let me process what is going to happen tomorrow even now after writing about it. It still feels good to get it out and I look forward to posting an update tomorrow that they removed all of the bad shit and things went beautifully. Step II in the get rid of the cancer battle will be done and then she is off to radiation and reconstruction. Juts a few more steps and this is all over.

What was life like before this. I fell like 2012 has been a dream and once it is over we can all go back to normal life. Will things be normal after this or will we all be different? Will we all be better or stronger after all of this? Will we appreciate these short lives we get to live more after this? You just don't know what this experience is like until you are in it or have gone through it and I pray no one else I know ever knows how it feels.

. I know this post is random and choppy, but my brain just can not function at full capacity and this is honestly how it is functioning tonight. This is all I have in me and all I can do for tonight.

Once again any and all prayers are always appreciated. I don't know if I can pray anymore so I may need y'all to back me up for a few days or so.

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