Monday, June 25, 2012

In Treatment

Mom's first treatment was July 21. She had been waiting what felt like and eternity for them to confirm her second biopsy results (these were for the trial study developing a vaccine for cancer). Finally she decided screw the trial I want to get things started. So we emailed the nurse and said she was ready and to move forward with whatever came next. Fast forward to the next day. Around noonish my sister called to tell me they had called that morning and they had finally gotten her results back and she was a trial candidate and she would start chemo THAT DAY. Praise the Lord something was finally happening.

Now this all feels really real. I know it should already feel real, but it has all happened so fast and yet so slow. Am I making any sense? Try and keep up with my brain. 

They didn't get to finish her treatment Thursday so she needed to go back Friday and I got to pick her up after she was done. They gave her 2 medicines the first day, and the third one the second day. She is such a  trooper for sitting still that long because if you know my mom you know sitting still is not easy for her. I think that is the toughest part of her treatment for me is her not being able to get up and go, but I know she will be back to herself in no time.

Cancer is such a weird disease because the cancer doesn't make you feel sick usually, the medicine to get rid of the cancer makes you sick. Stupid cancer.

Mom has done amazing these past few days after her first round. She has had some symptoms from being extremely fatigued, strong flu like symptoms, body ache, and just feeling off and I know she is being strong for us because she is a hard ass. She is such a bad patient though because she can't be still, but I think that is actually helping her feel a little better. Getting up and showering and moving around seems to get her juices pumping and get her appetite going a little.

I feel like I am going to start making her crazy soon. I am like and overbearing stage mom asking her every 5 seconds if she is ok or if she needs anything. She is going to start asking me to drop the baby off and leave because I am making her nuts.

I have been researching different things she can take with her during her treatments and things that could help her side affects. It is weird to say I have been pinning stuff on my Pinterest, but I don't want to forget them. I thought about making a Cancer Sucks! board, but thought that might be a little weird for everyone who follows me to see "Roxanne Pinned such and such to Cancer Sucks!" That might be kind of a downer. I found a ton of great ideas from socks and gloves, to lemon drops, to fun things to celebrate the milestones. I think the most amazing thing I found on the internet was a community of people who don't even know my mom, but are praying for her everyday.

The most incredible connection I have made came from a picture on Pinterest that sparked an idea for a laundry room redo. I found This picture and posted a message on the blog asking if it was ok to use this picture as my inspiration for my redo. I never expected a reply because this post was from 2011. Imagine my surprise when I received and email back from Cindy at Cameras and Chaos saying she would love to see   it when I was finished.

Of course I am a blog whore (not a nice term, but it fits) and when I find a blog I like I add it to my blog list and I love going back and reading past posts. I am on a redo kick at Le Casa Team D and let me tell you I have found a TON of inspiration on this blog.

So fast forward to more blog reading and I come across a post all about how she makes quilts and gives them to people going through chemotherapy treatments and that just hit home with me. Ever since having Mckinley I am a crier and I have never really been a crier and now with everything going on I am a crier times 1000 so of course I am crying reading her post and I leave her a message about how awesome she is. Wouldn't you know she is sending my mama her very own quilt. Shhhh she doesn't know and I am hoping she doesn't read this until I give it to her. Do you think she might be a little bit surprised? I can't wait to take some picture of her all snuggled up in it. Que more crying when I got that email. I can't even watch a Baby Story anymore because I am a sobbing hormonal mess everytime!

It makes me sad that something like cancer brings people together because no one should have to go through this, but then it makes me happy to know this is bringing people together. I keep telling my mom she has a ton of people she has never even met out there praying for her.

It is still so weird to be writing about cancer and everything going on, but reading other people's experiences with it especially the people in the family of someone going through all of this has been really helpful to me so maybe I can be helpful to someone else.

Thankfully we have the BEST medicine for every ailment.
Mrs. Sassy Pants! I wish we could bottle her up as the cure all for everything!

Another good medicine will be a week at the beach. I think we all need a mental break from reality for a while. 


Cindy said...

now you made me cry!!! :) I am a crier too...i cry way too easily. baby story did me in too when i used to watch it. now it is tv commercials and husband just looks at me with his eyebrows raised and says "really?" when he sees me do that.

It will get easier with your mom's treatments. it will become hers and your new normal until she is done with them. it will get better, i promise!!

xo, cindy

MillerMama said...

That's wonderful about the quilt! Chemo does such ugly things to your body - when my uncle when through it recently I told him it really seemed similar to pregnancy symptoms! Lack of appetite, vomiting, food aversions, weird sleep patterns...

But hopefully it is also doing ugly things to her cancer. Continued prayers for your mom.